Scary Christmas: Santa's Shanty Village

Christmas has been encroaching on Halloween's turf for some time. But now, the macabre howls of Halloween are disrupting Christmas's silent night and challenging the cacophony of jingle bells.

For our first venture into Scary Christmas, we go straight for the jolly man himself - Santa. But something has gone terribly wrong. Santa's normally cheerful village has been replaced by horrible atrocities. But at least they only cost a dollar!

Miniature ceramic Christmas scenes are a holiday tradition and now, thanks to the skilled laborers from Dollar Tree responsible for Santa's Shanty Vilage, generations of children will cower in fear whenever Santa comes to town.

Let's take a closer look.

Cart Blanche: Ghosts of Clearance Past

Before you get too excited, this photo was taken last year and this pile of 15-dollar Toy Story Collection RC remote control cars vanished faster than chocolate cake samples in the Target bakery.

RC originally retailed for around $60, but these days, he routinely fetches a ridiculous amount of money on the interwebs. This is one of those rare occasions where I wish I was [more of] a hoarder.

Thrift Store: I See London, I See France

Lumiere seems genuinely flustered by whatever Cogsworth is doing. I don't want to insinuate anything, but Cogsworth may have exposed his pendulum.

Cart Wheels: S&M&M

The fun doesn't have to stop when you exit the automatic doors. There's plenty to observe in the parking lot. Car antenna toppers are some of my favorite auto accoutrements to spot.

It's rare to find an antenna topper in pristine condition. They've almost always seen better days. The elements have taken their toll, weathering away the foam features. Sometimes it is these abnormalities that make spotting antenna toppers so much fun.

And sometimes it's the awkward placement of the antenna.

It's not so much where the antenna is as it is the expression on Green's face that's disturbing. It's as if she's saying "You like what you see?"

A La Cart: When You See It, You'll Shape Bricks

I found this giant LEGO man at Barnes & Noble. I don't know why they couldn't wait put him up until they finished building the giant LEGO toilet he's obviously supposed to be sitting on.

It looks like giant LEGO man couldn't wait, either.

Thrift Store: Look Ma, No Hands

 

Another thrift store treasure unearthed after tens of years. Some readers may not be old enough to remember a time before iPods, but for us children of the 80's, CD players were the ultimate in cool. The only thing that could make a portable CD player better was if you could carry it around in a fanny pack.

Enter the Tune Belt. No, I'm sorry, "The Original Tune Belt". It's comfortable. It's secure. It's hands-free! It probably caused your CD to skip, making it impossible to get through an entire song. But whatever. It was all about presentation in the 80's. Half the people who bought these probably never even owned a portable CD player.

The Tune Belt doesn't serve much of a purpose in today's digital age, but just like all of the misfit toys who wind up at the thrift store, it can take solace in knowing that at some point, someone, somewhere paid actual money for it.

As Is: Teenage Mutant Naked Turtle

This is what this is supposed to look like.

Earlier in the week I blogged about Jazwares and their small company problems. As it turns out, it's not only the little guys who occasionally let things slip through the cracks.

This is Leonardo from Nickelodeon's new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon. Playmates Toys have been manufacturing the Turtles toys since the very beginning and the formula hasn't changed much since 1989.  Four turtles, red, blue, orange and purple bandanas, varying shades of green, ninja weapons and belts to store them in.

Unfortunately for this particular Leo, someone let him leave the factory without his belt! It's amazing how naked he looks without it. It's really freaking me out. I need to stop looking.

Where is he going to store his katana now?

The Metal Head figure from this same assortment includes a goof of his own. The back of his packaging features photos of four Turtles: Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and a second Raphael. 

Michelangelo must have been too busy being a party dude to make it to picture day on time.